Tuesday, August 11, 2015

To the man who just can't keep his comments to himself...

Cutest Bumble Bee I've ever seen!
Recently, Ashlynne had her very first dance recital.  I was on my way back from Texas from Mary Kay Seminar and burned back into town just in time to make it to the recital.  It was a nature themed recital and her class was dressed as bumble bees.  She rocked it out, and was awesome!  She was so proud of herself, as was I.  It takes a lot of guts to get up on a stage, in front of many people you don't know, and perform.  It takes an extra lot of guts to do so when you have a visible difference, and physically you don't move as well and aren't as flexible as the other girls on the stage.  After her performance, where she had A LOT of friends and family, just she and I were walking back to the car, where I was letting her know just how proud of her we all are.

Enter stage right:  The one man who has to make an ignorant comment.

"That's the reddest bumble bee I've ever seen!"

I had to have had the biggest look of disgust on my face.  I didn't respond.  I tried to just keep my conversation with Ashlynne going, hoping she didn't hear him.

"How'd she get such a bad sunburn?"  He was making sure he was being heard.  AND making sure we saw him staring.  Now it was my turn to turn red.

"She doesn't have a sunburn, she has a skin disorder."  Once again, trying to just turn my conversation back to Ashlynne, he interrupts again.

"Oh, but why is she so red? I mean, she's SO red."

What I really want to say is this:

"Yes, we have eyes too, we see that she is red.  And while she has a skin disorder, and has very red, dry skin, and limited movement, she also has ears.  And those work just fine.  And you are offending that sense in every way possible.  You are clearly, elderly, which means that you have probably seen many things in your lifetime, and if you have reacted this way to everyone you have come across that is different, I'm surprised your jaw isn't wired shut. You know when you're saying things like this to a child, you are chipping away at her confidence, and her self esteem.  People like YOU are the reason it is so hard for her to get up and do these things.  And then, when she does, and she feels great about it, you march right up and open your mouth and take some of the wind out of her sails.  Shame on you.  But I want to thank you for once again teaching me a lesson in self control, patience, and understanding, because everything in me right now wants to verbally assault you. But I won't, because you aren't the first @$$hole, and you won't be the last."
These girls did awesome!!

But what I really say is:

"She has ichthyosis.  That is why she is red, and her skin is dry.  But I think she's the cutest bumble bee I've ever seen."  And I take Ashlynne's hand and simply walk off.  But my daughter's spirit won't be broken.  She just made crazy faces to his back when he walked off, and laughed it off.  She just shook her head and said "Old people..."  She won't let people like that keep her down.  She is still going to do dance, she enrolled in Lyrical for this session.

One thing I will never understand is why some people feel that it's ok to make ignorant, rude comments to a child.  Think them to yourself, ask someone else, but she is a CHILD!  But something I have learned is this:  Common sense, and common courtesy... they aren't very common.  Maybe we should have an awareness month for that....


  1. Amen Cora! Ashlynne does make the cutest little bumble bee 🐝! You're such a good role model...always were. Go momma!

  2. Amen Cora! Ashlynne does make the cutest little bumble bee 🐝! You're such a good role model...always were. Go momma!


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