Friday, January 22, 2021

A few tips from your friendly neighborhood hairdresser during these crazy times!

Twenty twenty hit the salon industry hard.  I think I can speak for most of us when I say: we are tired. We are tired of Covid, we are tired of the masks, we are tired of politics, and tired of the tension.

Every day things we loved about our jobs have almost been stripped from us without anyone even realizing it.  Conversing about every day things, hearing about your family and life, those conversations seem to have gone by the way side in the blink of an eye.  See, we are told in beauty school there are certain topics behind the chair that are taboo; sex, religion, and politics. And it seems as if this year, everything went back to politics. From the most sensationalized election in my life time, to Covid, everything has had something to do with Democrat vs. republican this year. From whether or not people believed the virus would disappear after the election, to whether or not the election was fraud, everyone has an opinion, and in most cases, it’s a very strong one.  And as hairstylists, we are literally TRAINED to avoid these topics.  Trying over and over again each day to reroute conversations is exhausting. And yet some how it always seems to go back to politics and Covid right now.  I'm just ready for it to all be over with.  


Here are a few things to consider when making your appointments that would help all of us out!:

1.   Book ahead!!!  I can not stress this enough.  I always recommend booking your next appointment before you leave the salon, however, I know with some work schedules, school schedules, and just life, some times this isn't possible.  So give yourself and your stylist some leeway when booking.  Don't call and want in THAT DAY over your lunch hour and expect to get in.  I don't know about most of you, but my salon has not slowed down at all since the reopening after our shut down.  Our clients have been absolutely awesome, and so supportive of our business, and have been very consistent about coming in and booking ahead to make sure they stay on top of their hair in the case of another shutdown.  However, this is bad for those that may not plan ahead quite as much.  It has really tightened our schedules up.  Know that we will try to get you in as soon as possible, and we will stay late, and skip our lunch, etc.  But we still have little ones and lives outside of the salon that need our attention.  We have people that at the last minute get quarantined that we are trying to get rescheduled, and we are trying our best to get everyone in as soon as possible, so simply booking ahead, if you have that luxury, would help us both out.  It helps you know you can get in, and it alleviates a little bit of stress from your stylist when she is trying to book other appointments. 

2.  If you can't make it to your appointment on time, or at all, CALL AND LET US KNOW!  No showing your hairdresser, or anyone for that matter has a big impact on their day.  Not only do they miss out on the income from your service, but they are missing out on income from other clients that they have had to turn away due to your time slot being filled.  And more than likely that spot can not be filled when there is no notice.  It literally impacts their entire day.  Please just be courteous and call.  We understand things come up. Right now, people are getting quarantined at the last minute among many other things, just call, trust me, we understand.  But not calling is just flat rude.

3.  If you are sick, stay home.  We can not risk getting sick, and exposing all of the people that have sat in our chair.  Most hairdressers do not get paid sick leave.  If we have to quarantine, that is all income lost.  Not to mention, if we unknowingly expose our clients and someone gets sick, that guilt lies on us, and we truly care about our clients.

We've all had that one client since quarantine 
that was in complete denial about what they did
to their hair!

4. Be patient with us.  We are literally packing people in as tight as we can, and squeezing people in as closely as we can with all of the new cleaning regulations and social distancing regulations that have been placed since we reopened.  We are fixing quarantine cuts, and quarantine colors that we may not have expected.  Sometimes, this might mean that we are running a little behind.  Trust me, we hate it as much as you do.  It gets us flustered, and then we start dropping things more, and we start sweating, it's all a mess.  But we are trying.  We are trying to get to everyone on time, in the same cheerful manner that we did in 2019.

5.  Talk to us.  Talk to us about your family.  Talk to us about your dogs.  Talk to us about the latest book you are reading, or the latest podcast you are listening to.  At this point in time, I would even strike two of the taboos from the list and let you talk about sex and money!  Talk to us about ANYTHING other than Covid or politics.  We are tired.  We miss our old conversations.  Hair dressers tend to look at life through rose colored glasses.  We like to see the beauty in things.  And all of the ugly in the world lately has made that really hard to do.  So please, help us see it again.  Talk to us like you used to.  We miss that.  I have literally been put in situations this year where I have had to move regular appointments and clients around because of the conversations that were had in my chair that offended the next person waiting.  As much as we might try to just smile and say "uh huh", other people around get offended, and this is our business.  We want to get to know you, we care what you care about.  But right now, things are so tense in our nation, that we just can't. We are having a really hard time balancing it all.  Please, please, talk to me about your dog.  (Also, see rule no. 1.... this helps us keep those people that might offend each other on different days and time slots! Do your part!)

6.  Bring us caffeine.  We need it!  Our once 8 hour days have stretched to 10 and 12 hour days because of all of the different precautions, and squeezing people in that have had to cancel due to being quarantined.  Trust me, we don't even care what kind it is, just bring caffeine!

7.  Shop small, buy local.  I know this gets said all the time.  I know that you can get your shampoo and conditioner on sale at some of the big box stores, or on Amazon, but those places aren't keeping your local salon open.  Retail sales can make a big difference in the income of a salon and stylist.  Just keep that in mind next time you stop at Beauty Brands for their liter sale.  Now more than ever, it is imperative that we start thinking small, and support our local communities first.  Let your stylist know if you want something she doesn't carry.  Chances are she can get it in for you!  This literally puts food on her table.

8.  More than anything, know we appreciate you!  We may be tired, and rushing around when you are there, and we may be exhausted from all of the goings on in the world, but we love seeing you.  You brighten our days.  Some times, I'm convinced you bring us more joy that we do you.  We know you love getting your hair done, but we love the relationships we have formed with all of you.  You are important in our lives.  You are not just a number on the books for us.  Thank you for your continued support during this crazy time.  We look forward to seeing you in our chairs and getting caught up with our friends that in many cases have grown into extended family.  

Moral of the story, please just bear with us.  We are trying, and we are tired.  And we know you are too.  So let's just do our best to support each other during these crazy times in our world.  Let's support each other, and help each other see the beauty in things again.  And not just the beauty of your hair, although I can help you with that as well ;).

Wednesday, January 13, 2021

Not even going to edit this….

I found this little gem today while getting ready to start a post.... I would say much of this applied to 2021 as well... a year later, I chose to leave it as it is, without a single edit....

I have seen more memes about 2020 and how bad it sucked than I have of that stupid white cat and Cameron Diaz.  It's funny though, cruising through social media the last week of December, how many memes, or status updates I saw talking about how ready everyone was for 2021.  As if the turn of that second hand on that clock, that rolled the minute, into the next hour, that rolled us into the next year was going to magically change everything.  If there is one thing I have learned over the last year, it's that nothing magically fixes itself.  We have to fix it. We have to buckle down, grind, do the work, and fix it ourselves.  No one is going to ride in on their white horse and save the day.  We have to save ourselve so disgusted with so many things this year: politics, covid, humans in general.  I have seen politics tear families, friendships, and relationships apart, and I have seen this virus tear families, friendships, and relationships apart.  It's appalling.  What has happened to us?  Is this really the America, or the world, the we have hoped for?  Is this what we want to leave behind for our children?  Is this what we want to teach the

I checked out last year.  I mean, kind of.  In a sense.  Most who know me would say I did.  Really, I went through the motions to just get through, to get by.  That was definitely easier than facing everything that was going on around me.  I mean, let's rewind and look at things, an international pandemic that shut my business down for two months and left me with no income, a divorce, another really painful breakup, my dog unexpectedly passing away, then a decision to focus on me for the first time in my life, which is very foreign, and can actually be really painful and messy.  I mean, some would say for most of the year, I was AWOL. And I know I wasn't alone.  A lot of people struggled this last year.  In fact, most people did.  This last year was absolute shit.  Except it wasn't.

There's the old adage is the glass half empty, or half full?  But isn't it high time we stop that debate, and just be glad we have the damn glass in the first place?  I mean, without the glass, half empty or half full wouldn't even be an option.  And if that REALLY, I mean REALLY matters to you, get a smaller glass and fill it to the brim.  Yes, there is a lot of ugliness going on in this world, but I look within my own little world, my own little circle, and I see so much beauty, much to be thankful for.  Shouldn't we all start focusing there?  What if we did?  What if we all started focusing on being kind to ourselves, and showing kindness to our immediate family, and peers, and let it trickle out from there.  I know that I am, by far, not the first person that has suggested this, nor will I be the last.  What if we all give it a shot?  Let's try it.  Let's go back to the golden rule: Do unto others as you wish to be done unto you.  Seems elementary, right?  Why have we forgotten it?  What if we all took a second, and took a step back, and acted rather than reacted?  What if we all thought about how our actions would affect others, rather than what feels good right now?

I think I have learned more about myself in this past year than any other year of my life.  Some, in fact most, of this learning process was excrutiatingly painful, but I survived.  No, I thrived.  I have learned what I really want.  I have learned what I won't accept.  I have learned what really matters.  I have learned that I have a lot to offer.  I have learned that taking three seconds to take a breath before I react to my children can make a huge difference in their day.  I have learned that you can't make someone love you who isn't ready to do so.  I have also learned that the right person will love you no matter what.  I have learned that who Cora is, outside of being a mother, or a wife, matters; to myself and to others.  I have learned that kindness, really does matter, far more than being right.  

With all of the ugliness and controversy that 2020 brought, I choose to look at it as a blessing.  It was the year of the awakening for me.  I lost people I loved fiercely, and found people I never saw coming.  I gained a lot of perspective.  I am focused on what I want, and will no longer be distracted by what I do not want.  I will no longer settle, for fear of upsetting outsiders, when what matters most is my little tribe that I have created, which has grown this year.  I wave goodbye to those who chose to exit my life this year, and I bid you well.  I will no longer be distracted by those who are half in.  I know my worth.  I know my kids' worth.  I know what we deserve.  And I WILL start focusing on that.  From this day forward, I will only give energy to that which brings me joy, and peace.  And I hope you all start doing the same.  Maybe you already are.  Maybe you aren't.  But what a beautiful world we would have in front of us if we all just did our best to let go of the anger, hatred, and ugliness.  

From here on out, I choose beauty.  I choose happy.  I choose joy.  I choose peace.  I choose ME.

To my "little girl" on her 18th birthday...

My dear, sweet Ashlynne,

 Eighteen.  Legally an adult.  Always my baby.

Bear with me as I navigate this land of trying to figure out how to be a parent to an adult child.  I don't know how to do this.  I don't know how good I will be at this whole "parenting an adult" thing.  But keep in mind, you will always be my child. There will probably be plenty of times you have to remind me that you are becoming an adult.  But remember, I might have a hard time wrapping my head and heart around that.  I will always be your mom.  I took the pregnancy test.  I announced you were coming into this world.  I am the first person that heard your heartbeat.  I got the morning sickness, the swollen ankles.  I felt your first movements.  I felt your first hiccups.  I grew as you grew.  I have the scar from your cesarian.  I have grown up right along with you.  I felt the pain as you came into this world, and the joy simultaneously.  And I felt the pain when they took you away, and I sat in your NICU room and cried.  You see, today, you legally become an adult, a woman.  But to me, you will always be that little baby fighting for her life, and showing the world what strength really is.  

I feel like my days of guiding you are limited.  I hope I am wrong.  I hope you always want your mom's advice.  But just in case, there are some things that are really important in life.  A few things I need to say. Some things I wish I would have known.  Some things that really matter.  Here they are:

*Put God first.  He will never steer you wrong.  When you have that gut feeling that you think you should follow, that's Him.  Just listen. And when you think He isn't there, He is.  Have faith.

*Don't chase them.  Boys, friends, family members, anyone.  Don't chase them.  For if they are worth chasing, you won't have to chase them.  What you will have to do is put in effort.  Relationships of all kinds take effort from both sides, but not all the effort from one side.  If they slip through your fingers, but are meant to have a permanent place in your life, they will come back.  And they will appreciate you even more than before.

*Be teachable.  If you know a million things, you can still learn from the person that only knows one thing.  Believe it or not, we aren't always right.  Be prepared to listen, and hear people out.  Knowledge is more than booksmarts.  And once you leave the realm of high school, this becomes more apparent.  Lessons are to be learned in everything.

*Don't take yourself too seriously.  If you don't laugh at yourself, they will laugh at you.  You might as well beat them to the punch.

*Not everyone will like you.  And that's ok.   Because you won't like everyone.  Find your tribe, love them hard.  It is literally impossible to be friends with everyone.  It is quality over quantity.  I would rather have a few really good friends, than a lot of people around me that I can't form a deep connection with.

One of the best scenarios in life, I heard recently from a good friend.  I will try to do the comparison justice as I retell it.  As we sat on the porch one night she said to me:  Life is like a tree.  You are the trunk.  Some people in your life are the branches.  These are the people that stay.  These are the monumental people in your life that have the most impact, and will never leave you until the day they die.  Other people, they are like leaves.  When a big gust of wind comes along, or the seasons change, they are gone.  They are the friends and relationships that are there for a little bit, maybe when things are good, and fun, but when a storm, or winter comes along, they shed themselves.  But those branches, they stay.  They are still there next year, even when the new leaves come.  You see, trees shed their leaves, and that's part of life, most branches stay intact for a really long time. but some of those branches, they are there for life.  Those branches are the ones you prune, and the ones you take care of, those are the ones that really make the tree beautiful.  

*Call your mom.  When you're sad.  When you're happy.  When you have exciting news.  When you are bored.  Call your mom.  I will never tire of hearing your voice.

You, my love, are one of the things I am most proud of in this life.  If I have done anything worthwhile in this, being a mom is at the top of that list. You are funny, and witty, and kind.  You love animals, and the elderly, and your family.  You love Pearl Jam.  The rest of your music taste could use some tweaking, but we have time to work on that.  But most importantly, you are STRONG.  You are a fighter.  I was just telling the story tonight of when you took your first steps.  Two and half years old, he picked you up out of my arms, and set you in the middle of the room, and told me not to run to you.  And you walked to me.  For the first time.  Crying, and scared, but you made it.  You made it across that room to the one place you felt safe.  I will always be your safe place.  You can always come to me.  No judgements, no I told you so's.  Only love, acceptance, and safety.  Believe it or not, I am still growing with you.  I still feel you.  I still hurt when you hurt.  That didn't stop the day you were born, it had only just begun.


I love you.  Happy birthday young lady.

Love, 

Mom


A few tips from your friendly neighborhood hairdresser during these crazy times!

Twenty twenty hit the salon industry hard.  I think I can speak for most of us when I say: we are tired. We are tired of Covid, we are tired...