I have seen more memes about 2020 and how bad it sucked than I have of that stupid white cat and Cameron Diaz. It's funny though, cruising through social media the last week of December, how many memes, or status updates I saw talking about how ready everyone was for 2021. As if the turn of that second hand on that clock, that rolled the minute, into the next hour, that rolled us into the next year was going to magically change everything. If there is one thing I have learned over the last year, it's that nothing magically fixes itself. We have to fix it. We have to buckle down, grind, do the work, and fix it ourselves. No one is going to ride in on their white horse and save the day. We have to save ourselve so disgusted with so many things this year: politics, covid, humans in general. I have seen politics tear families, friendships, and relationships apart, and I have seen this virus tear families, friendships, and relationships apart. It's appalling. What has happened to us? Is this really the America, or the world, the we have hoped for? Is this what we want to leave behind for our children? Is this what we want to teach the
I checked out last year. I mean, kind of. In a sense. Most who know me would say I did. Really, I went through the motions to just get through, to get by. That was definitely easier than facing everything that was going on around me. I mean, let's rewind and look at things, an international pandemic that shut my business down for two months and left me with no income, a divorce, another really painful breakup, my dog unexpectedly passing away, then a decision to focus on me for the first time in my life, which is very foreign, and can actually be really painful and messy. I mean, some would say for most of the year, I was AWOL. And I know I wasn't alone. A lot of people struggled this last year. In fact, most people did. This last year was absolute shit. Except it wasn't.
There's the old adage is the glass half empty, or half full? But isn't it high time we stop that debate, and just be glad we have the damn glass in the first place? I mean, without the glass, half empty or half full wouldn't even be an option. And if that REALLY, I mean REALLY matters to you, get a smaller glass and fill it to the brim. Yes, there is a lot of ugliness going on in this world, but I look within my own little world, my own little circle, and I see so much beauty, much to be thankful for. Shouldn't we all start focusing there? What if we did? What if we all started focusing on being kind to ourselves, and showing kindness to our immediate family, and peers, and let it trickle out from there. I know that I am, by far, not the first person that has suggested this, nor will I be the last. What if we all give it a shot? Let's try it. Let's go back to the golden rule: Do unto others as you wish to be done unto you. Seems elementary, right? Why have we forgotten it? What if we all took a second, and took a step back, and acted rather than reacted? What if we all thought about how our actions would affect others, rather than what feels good right now?
I think I have learned more about myself in this past year than any other year of my life. Some, in fact most, of this learning process was excrutiatingly painful, but I survived. No, I thrived. I have learned what I really want. I have learned what I won't accept. I have learned what really matters. I have learned that I have a lot to offer. I have learned that taking three seconds to take a breath before I react to my children can make a huge difference in their day. I have learned that you can't make someone love you who isn't ready to do so. I have also learned that the right person will love you no matter what. I have learned that who Cora is, outside of being a mother, or a wife, matters; to myself and to others. I have learned that kindness, really does matter, far more than being right.
With all of the ugliness and controversy that 2020 brought, I choose to look at it as a blessing. It was the year of the awakening for me. I lost people I loved fiercely, and found people I never saw coming. I gained a lot of perspective. I am focused on what I want, and will no longer be distracted by what I do not want. I will no longer settle, for fear of upsetting outsiders, when what matters most is my little tribe that I have created, which has grown this year. I wave goodbye to those who chose to exit my life this year, and I bid you well. I will no longer be distracted by those who are half in. I know my worth. I know my kids' worth. I know what we deserve. And I WILL start focusing on that. From this day forward, I will only give energy to that which brings me joy, and peace. And I hope you all start doing the same. Maybe you already are. Maybe you aren't. But what a beautiful world we would have in front of us if we all just did our best to let go of the anger, hatred, and ugliness.
From here on out, I choose beauty. I choose happy. I choose joy. I choose peace. I choose ME.
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