Thursday, April 9, 2015

Reba Pearl Lane

My hero, and best friend is with her Heavenly Father now.
You don't have to hurt anymore, Grandma
I cried myself to sleep last night for the first time in years.  There is something physically painful about heart break.  I haven't hurt like this in a long time.  In fact, I don't know if I ever have.  As I sit here writing this, my grandma is fighting for her life.  She has been fighting for years, and has amazed all of us with how long she has held on and the strength she has shown.

Reba Pearl Lane was born on January 15, 1936 to Delbert Oliver Adair and Tulane Idella (Sharp) Adair.  She passed away peacefully, in her home, April 9, 2015.  She grew up in Colorado and western Kansas, and was joined by a younger brother, Lloyd, and a younger sister, Lois.
In 1953 she married Ivan Mark Selleck.  They had two daughters, Constance Marie, and Carol Ann.  The couple later divorced.  In the 1960s she was working as a waitress in Hill City, KS, where she met Larry Lee Lane, and they later married.  The couple had two children, Christie Lea Lane, and Larry Lee Lane, Jr.  They raised their children in Meriden, KS, where they spent most of their married life until they moved to Topeka, KS in 1983.
She worked for Alco Stores, and Century United in Topeka.  She was an avid bowler, a great friend, and a loving mother, grandmother, and great grandmother, and an epic farmer on Farmville.
Survivors include her husband, Larry, of the home, a brother, Lloyd Adair of Grand Island NE, sister Lois Barnes of Lincoln, NE, daughters Connie and husband George Welborn, of Abilene, KS, Carol Selleck, of Peoria, AZ, and Christie Lane, of Fountain Hills, AZ, and son Larry and wife Janella Lane of Carbondale, KS.  Grandchildren, Misty Collins, Cora Cossel, Trevor Lane, and Lanae Lane, and 9 great grandchildren, nieces and nephews, aunts and uncles, and many friends. She was preceeded in death by her parents.

I just wrote my grandma's obituary.  And that doesn't even begin to sum up her life.  1936-2015.  But what is most important is that dash in there.  That "-" represents so much more than just the years in between.  It represents memories, and love, and the legacy of the family she left behind.  She struggled, and she made mistakes, and she was human.  She faltered, and righted herself, and she showed all of us how to survive.  She showed us how to really live life.  She showed us how to love.  She left me with memories that can never be replaced.  She showed me the importance of loving with my whole heart, and living life to the fullest, for we never know when God will call us home.  I never hurt without knowing that she was hurting for me, and I never had a triumph without knowing that she was behind me cheering me on the whole way.

When I publish this blog, it will mean that she has passed.  I won't publish it before.  I won't let her see me talk about her like she is already gone.  Because I want her to keep fighting.  I don't want her to think we have all given up on her.  Until she is gone, I will make as many memories with her as I can.  I will chose to remember the classy, beautiful working woman, in her suits, and her perfectly coiffed, colored hair, and her Mary Kay makeup.  I will remember the woman that sat with me in front of her mirror and helped me do my makeup, and play with my hair.  I will remember the woman that never told me that any of her high heels or dress clothes were off limits when I wanted to play dress up.  I will remember the woman that covered for me with my parents when I spilled nail polish on her brand new kitchen carpet.  I will remember the woman that cried like a baby when she had to spank me only one time in my life because I took a running jump onto her bathroom scale.  I will remember the woman that always kept raw hot dogs in the fridge for me, and cinnamon pop tarts for when I visited.  I will remember the safety I always felt in her arms, and the comfort I always found in her voice.  I will do my best to keep up her traditions, of thanksgiving, and never forgetting a birthday, or to send that $1 for every holiday.   I will do my best to carry on her legacy of love, but I don't know if I'm woman enough, those are very big high heels to fill.

I spoke with her last night, and had my grandpa hold the phone up to her ear.  I told her how very much I love her. And I promised her that I would take care of my mom and grandpa, and that it was ok to let go if she was tired.  That I would be ok, I made her that promise, so I can't break it.  I think she needed to hear those words, and I hope they brought her peace, but they were the hardest words I've ever spoken.

I think the poem that was read at my great grandma Adair's funeral is the most fitting verse to sum up how Grandma wanted her loved ones to receive the news of her passing, so I'm going to share it all with you, and hope that I can look back and find some sort of comfort while I grieve the loss of my very best friend.

"Miss Me But Let Me Go"

When I come to the end of the road
And the sun has set for me
I want no rites in a gloom-filled room
Why cry for a soul set free?

Miss me a little-but not too long
And not with your head bowed low
Remember the love that we once shared
Miss me-but let me go

For this is a journey that we all must take
And each must go alone.
It's all part of the Master's plan
A step on the road to home

When you are lonely and sick of heart
Go to the friends we know
And bury your sorrows in doing good deeds
Miss me but let me go.

1 comment:

  1. Finding a dentist is something people dread but it is essential. Factors such as such as attitude, education, work ethics and location must be considered.
    see more details:Everett Invisalign


A few tips from your friendly neighborhood hairdresser during these crazy times!

Twenty twenty hit the salon industry hard.  I think I can speak for most of us when I say: we are tired. We are tired of Covid, we are tired...