Tuesday, December 30, 2014

A letter to my 16 year old self

There is a Brad Paisley song "Letter To Me" that I have heard countless times.  But I heard it again on the radio today, and it got me thinking about what I, as an adult, would say to my young self if given the chance.  So, here it is:

Dear Cora,

Chase your dreams.  Don't hesitate.  Don't waste time on other fruitless ventures.  You know, deep down, where your heart is.  You will have a lot of people tell you that you will fail.  That you won't be able to pay your bills, or support your family, and the career won't last.  Don't listen to them.  They're wrong.  You're going to be great at it.  And you're going to love it, and you're going to be really good at it!  On top of it, you're going to meet some of the most amazing people because of it.

Don't chase him.  He doesn't define you.  And don't spend so much time sitting at home waiting for him to call, or come by.  Go out with your friends, go to parties.  Enjoy your high school life while you can!  You are going to get your heart broken, over and over again.  You can't make him love you.  He will give you one of the greatest blessings of your life, but after that, let him go.  You are only making yourself look like a crazed psycho! You are better than that!  He's not a bad person, he's just not good for you.  Some day, your Prince Charming will come along, just be patient.  He's worth it! (And your future husband is 5 years younger than you, so you have to wait until he's old enough to date anyways!) Anddont get behind the wheel of his little black truck on March 21, 1999.  It doesn't end well.

Don't buy that purple Cavalier.  I know you want it.  I know you can afford it, but just listen to your dad.  He will still be mad about you buying that car years later!  It will save you a bigger headache in the long run.  Just bite the bullet and drive the red truck for a while, it won't kill you.  And it will make your dad happier.

You can't save everyone.  Stop trying to.  You are going to get hurt, and trampled on because of your savior complex.  Not everyone wants to be helped. So just stop!  Not everyone has good intentions, and you are sometimes blind to that.  You are only leaving yourself open to getting taken advantage of, and it's going to happen a lot.

Put your cell phone down.  You don't have unlimited minutes yet (you will some day).  And you're going to have a couple of bills that are going to make your mom very mad!

Go see your Granny more.  Some day, all too soon, she will be gone.  The void that will leave in your heart is bigger than you could ever imagine.  You will miss her like crazy, so enjoy her hugs while you can.  Pick her brain about parenting.  Collectively, she has more parenting experience than anyone you will ever know.

From left, Kacey, me, Krista, Lex, and Melinda
at our Senior Prom.  All of these girls are still a
part of my life.  I am blessed.
Don't take your friends for granted.  Some of them will still be a huge part of your life into adulthood.  They will carry you through some of the darkest times of your life.  You don't know how lucky you are to have them.  Friends are the family you chose.  And no one knows you like those friends who lived your memories with you.

Appreciate your mom.  She is your biggest advocate.  She's not stupid.  In fact, she's pretty smart, and has a lot of very good advice.  Some day, you are going to look back and shake your head at the fact that you just didn't listen to her.  And stop treating her like crap.  She doesn't deserve it.

Don't waste time being angry, and holding grudges.  You can hold a grudge like its no one's business. You come by it honestly.  But it only makes your heart hard.  And that will eat you up.  People make mistakes.  Accept it, and move on.  You don't have to keep those people in your life, but hate and anger is like a cancer, and is so toxic.  It's ok to be sad about things that have hurt you, but don't lash out.  It solves nothing.

You're going to be ok.  You're going to be better than ok.  You are stronger than you think.  You are going to go through things that you think are going to break you, but they don't.  They will make you a better, more compassionate person.  Someday, you will have a family, and kids, a career, that you are so proud of!  Life will be great, and all of those hard times will be worth it.  When things seem like the end of the world, just remember, they're not.  You will get through it, and there will be a tomorrow, that is a new chance to start over.  Every day that God blesses you with is a new chance! Embrace it, and live your life to the fullest.

But most of all, find a way to love yourself.  You're worth loving.  And some day, you are going to have two ottos girls of your own that are going to need to see a strong, confident woman in their mommy.

Love,
You

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