My mom's birthday was Sunday. For fear of getting in trouble (yes, I am still a kid at heart) I won't tell you her age. But I have been thinking these past few days about just how much our relationship has evolved over the past 12 years or so. Becoming a mom myself has made me appreciate her so much more, and has made me realize the selflessness with which she raised my sister and I. Here are a few of the "AHA" moments I had with my mom. Some firsts, but certainly not lasts.
|The woman who has always held my heart in her hands|
*The first time I looked into Ashlynne's eyes I finally understood just how much my mom loved my sister and I. I finally understood what a mother's love was all about.
*The first time I was able to call her a friend was a moment I never saw coming. My mom had fairly high standards for us girls, so there were just certain things growing up that I couldn't talk to her about. Things I did that I wasn't necessarily proud of, or things I knew she would disapprove of, I never felt I could talk to her about. I was so scared to let her down. But as an adult, that relationship has changed to the point where I can talk to her about anything, my kids, my finances, and even the talk I NEVER would have had with her 13 years ago... sex. Yes, when my mom and I finally breached that subject I knew our relationship had evolved into a grown up one!
*The first time she cried to me. Finally, after all of the support she had lent me over the years, the countless times she held me when I cried, I got to return the favor. And while it hasn't happened nearly as many times as I have cried to her, I am glad to know that she knows she can count on me as much as I have always counted on her.
*The first time I drank alcohol with her. I can't describe how guilty I felt! I felt like I needed to hide my beer! But the fact that she had a wine cooler in her hand eased my nerves some. This was a night on her patio I will never forget. But don't worry, she stopped after two. She had reached her limit! Just and FYI for those of you who have never witnessed it, she's very giggly!!!
*The first time I confessed to her some of my teenage transgressions. What surprised me was that she wasn't nearly as surprised as I expected. Although we did have some good laughs, there are still some things I kept to myself!! (She doesn't need to know EVERYTHING! And I'm sure she doesn't want to!)
*The first time I realized just how much I had hurt her with my words and actions as a child. Moms are human too. And contrary to popular belief, we aren't super human. Looking back, the way I treated my mom in some of my more rebellious moments are some of my biggest regrets.
Some day, I will have to help care for her, just as she did for me when I couldn't care for myself. This will be a first I will not be looking forward to, however, I will step up and do it without hesitation, just as she did for me when I was a child. I hope that I am able to do it with the love, care, and patience that she has always, and still continues, to show me. They say life comes full circle. Well, here's to many, many more years, and many more firsts before the circle is complete! Happy Birthday Mom!!!